Belly :
Physical anxiety may be the immense lack of self-confidence in my life.
Because fat has received a lot of cold talks, in my mind, I accept myself, but when different people have different opinions, sometimes I feel a little anxious whether I am the person who has the problem? But touching my soft and heavy belly, I accepted myself calmly and happily be a fat girl.
Eggs :
When I think of eggs, I think of mothers. Was there a chicken or an egg first, a mother or a daughter first? It's a role that only exists with each other.
Eggs, parent-child donburi, motherhood.
My mother and I are two creatures who don't fit in the same space, we don't have a good relationship, we don't like each other, we don't want to say we hate him, maybe we just don't like him. I don't want to say that I hate him, but maybe I'm just a little bit upset with him. It's a little bit of resentment, but a little bit of love. She is still someone I love with all my heart, but we need a little distance to get along, and distance makes many things beautiful.
Her world is simple, my world is full of restrictions. A strong sense of control that restricts everyone who is important to me, a strong sense of control that allows me to notice only the inadequacies of others. His world is all about family and work, mine is all about me. This childhood rudeness towards my mother has probably become a habit, and I don't know how to improve it. I hate myself, I hate myself for being rude and making my mother suffer, I hate her for all the little things she does, and I hate myself for not being happy with her. It's like I'm making a mistake. Learn to love everything about yourself, even the mistakes you've made. To make mistakes means you are learning and growing.
When I think of my relationship with my mother, I am reminded of a film - Lady Bird - in which a mother and daughter have a deep love for each other but are constantly hurting each other because of their stubborn personalities.
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